The critic condemns everything you do: every move you make and every breath you take. Yes, you are doing everything wrong. Everything and always.
You need to understand the difference: criticizing is not the same as giving advice.
You arrive at dinner 15 minutes late , without warning about it in advance. Your other half is visibly angry and instead of asking why you were late or what happened, starts pouring accusations: "You're always late because you never think about anyone but yourself. I've been sitting here for 15 minutes! And you can never come on time."
This is the perfect critic. As a rule, such a person criticizes your every move: "Are you really going to wear this?", "Why don't you ever...?", "What's wrong with you?". The list can be continued indefinitely. Next to a critic, you feel humiliated. No matter how hard you try and no matter what you do, you never get it right.
You're late for dinner and don't warn about it. Your other half is noticeably angry, but instead of attacking you, starts asking you about this habit. "I noticed that you are always late. What happened? Is there a reason for this?". This is an example of how a person tries to understand the origins of improper behavior.
Instead of blaming a particular person, he or she blames an action.
The critic may even never say anything rude to you personally. But he speaks offensively about your beliefs, appearance, thoughts. This is often due to low self-esteem and a desire to keep everything under control. Instead of helping you get rid of bad habits, he reproaches you for them and suppresses you as a person.
The critic condemns the person, not his behavior. The most pernicious experience a person can face is when one of the parents says: "You're a bad boy/bad girl" instead of saying, "You did (a) bad thing."
With such a person, you feel like you have to walk on tiptoe. You never know what message he is trying to convey to you. Denial of feelings, sarcasm, dubious compliments are clear indicators that you are dealing with a passive aggressor.
You have done something to upset your partner , but you cannot understand what exactly the reason is. You ask why he or she is angry (you want to understand what you have done and how to fix it in order to avoid mistakes in the future). But don't even hope: your other half won't tell you anything. Most likely, you are waiting for answers in the spirit of: "I'm fine," "I'm not mad." At the same time, this person continues to keep his distance and show with all his appearance that you have acted incredibly meanly.
You start to get hung up on the situation, trying to figure out what he or she really thinks, why he continues to send hints, and does not speak directly. You can spend countless hours trying to learn how to read the mind of a passive aggressor, going back again and again.
Passive aggression is a veiled expression of anger, anger. If a person cannot just talk, but uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism, sends incomprehensible messages or does not show his negative emotions directly, but does it only surreptitiously — you are facing a passive aggressor.
Narcissus shows with all his behavior that his existence is the best gift for the Universe: he knows everything, he is the best in everything and does not hesitate to remind you about it every minute. No matter how smart and interesting a person you are, you are far from a narcissist.
Narcissus puts himself on a pedestal from which he looks at you.
It may seem to you that you are always competing with each other in something.
Narcissists are unwilling to compromise, feel a lack of understanding and empathy, and always want to be the center of attention. Even when it's your time to be the center of attention — on your birthday or at a promotion party — the narcissist will be able to draw all the attention to himself. Even if it was a loud scandal.
The story of Narcissus from ancient Greek mythology helps us understand the nature of narcissism. When Narcissus looked into the water and saw a beautiful flower instead of himself, he was surprised. After all, Narcissists really hate themselves.
They are easily hurt, and when this happens, they release anger and hatred, which accumulates due to low self-esteem. Narcissists are ready to destroy everything and everyone around them when they feel rejected or hurt.
A stone wall is a person who refuses to participate in a conversation and share his feelings when problems arise. He constantly evades direct questions. Because of this, the other person begins to feel insignificant, unworthy of honest communication.
A stone wall will never acknowledge the existence of a problem. If you are trying to communicate with a person who, as you know, refuses to be honest and open with you, it may be worth considering why you need such a relationship at all.
Not wanting to answer your questions, such a person does not just refuse to communicate with you — he makes you feel disappointed and even angry.
This is a good tactic for political debate, but it is absolutely unacceptable in personal life. The behavior of the stone wall partly resembles passive-aggressive behavior, only he does not try to convey a hidden message to you — he does not consider it necessary to tell you anything at all.
If you communicate with an antisocial type, congratulations: you got a 2 in 1 gift.
On the one hand, there are sociopathic traits in the character of an asocial person: aggressive and explosive behavior, which is most often the result of abuse in childhood. At least sociopaths can be empathetic.
But an antisocial person cannot, because he also has the inclinations of a psychopath: lack of remorse and empathy, a tendency to use others to his advantage, greed, vindictiveness.
We all have many different inclinations that society perceives as negative. We can even find characteristics inherent in antisocial behavior in ourselves. Therefore, we forgive and even favorably treat people with antisocial behavior, as we forgive and favorably treat ourselves.
Don't forget that psychopaths are psychological chameleons who constantly engage other people's emotions. What for? To manipulate others, manage the situation, get money, sex, satisfy your own ego, and so on.
They are so good at all this and lie so skillfully that their victims are unaware of what is happening.
It is extremely difficult to resist such psychologically predatory behavior.
It is not surprising that most people refuse to believe this and do not accept any evidence until it is too late. In fact, the "love" of a psychopath is just a cover.
If you are in a relationship with a person who has such traits, it's time to think about it: how do you feel around him? Avoid toxic relationships, don't be afraid to say goodbye to unpleasant people and cherish those who don't try to suppress and manipulate you.
