New Articles
Windows 11 users have discovered a funny bug that benefits older computers....
It's easy to turn off the transmission — we tell you how to do it....
Such photos have been taken by models and social media users for a long time,...
A famous musician? A schoolteacher? Mom? Tell us about the people you looked up...
Thanks to the instructions of Artyom Kozoriz, you can cope no worse than a...
5 interesting exercises that will help you develop flexibility....
From "Starship Troopers" and "The Matrix" to...
The return of Garfield and Mufasa, the new Transformers and the Lord of the...
Trickben.com » Relationships » 10 questions worth asking on a First Date

10 questions worth asking on a First Date

28 May 2023, 00:01, parser
0 comments    0 Show

The first date is always interesting and exciting. But let's be honest: it's also a real job. Usually everything starts as standard, with the questions "Where are you from?" or "What do you do?" and other platitudes. And they are, you will agree, quite useless and do not help an awkward conversation in any way.

American scientists have found out A. Aron, E. Melinat et al. The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings / Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin that the right questions during the first date can significantly strengthen the bond between people. If you are just getting ready to meet someone you like very much, try to move away from the usual scheme and use these 10 simple replicas.

1. How do you see an ideal relationship?

The answer will help you understand what a guy or girl is looking for in a partner and relationship. Be a strong self—sufficient couple, build a balanced and thoughtful partnership, as in business, or maybe become a traditional family where a man works and a woman is the keeper of the hearth.

Don't talk about your desires right away. Carefully listen to your interlocutor. This way you will find out if you are suitable for each other or if you have different views on the future.

2. Does anyone think they're dating you now?

This provocative question must be asked necessarily, maybe even jokingly, but ask. No one really needs a relationship with a person who has not fully figured out his personal life and past hobbies.

Read between the lines. If your dating partner says that he has a "crazy ex" or "stalker ex" who is still texting and shows up on the doorstep, there is a small chance that all these formulations are just code for "We periodically sleep together ".

3. What makes you happy?

Healthy relationships arise in couples where everyone knows what makes them happy. The partner is not obliged to be responsible for our good mood — we must be able to cultivate the love of life in ourselves.

Ask the person you have a date with to talk about their hobbies. If he or she laughs and treats the question with contempt, it's a bad sign. You are already interested in different things at the stage of the first date. Not the best start for a relationship.

4. How do you feel about monogamy?

If this is the kind of relationship you want, you don't have to be shy about it. A person who agrees with you will not be repelled by the question, but it will help you immediately say goodbye to someone who does not suit you.

Try to ask playfully, as if casually. And if you do not welcome monogamy, ask a similar question, but about polygamy. Believe me, it's much better to discuss such things before you enter into a relationship.

5. How are you?

If you need to leave only one banal question, then this one is a win—win option. No matter how boring it may be, this is a good start to a conversation that will easily lead you to other interesting topics and help you get to know each other a little closer.

Alexandra Solomon
Clinical psychologist, author of the book "The courage to love. 20 self-knowledge lessons that will help you find the love of your dreams."

A successful first date requires two people who are ready for a real dialogue, not a series of questions similar to an interview. During the meeting, do not ask each other about different topics in turn — discuss them together.

The phrase "How are you?" is often enough to start a conversation in which you can dissolve. Well, a monosyllabic answer is definitely not the best sign for a future with this person.

6. If all animals could talk, who would be the rudest?

It's a strange question, but the answer to it can say a lot about a person. His first reaction will show you how serious he is in everyday life. Or maybe it turns out that in front of you is the soul of the company, accurately shooting jokes right and left.

Alexandra Solomon

Such a ridiculous question will let you know how playful a person is, whether you can just laugh and feel relaxed next to him or her.

On first dates, defense mechanisms are often activated, especially if you have had your heart broken in the past. And they only kill the romance. And such a question, on the contrary, will bring back a sense of creativity, fun and foolishness.

7. What are the three main qualities you are looking for in a partner?

It is better not to build illusions, but to immediately figure out whether you are suitable for each other or not. Ask how he or she sees his or her partner and what qualities he or she finds repulsive.

If there is no clear answer to the question, it means that your interlocutor is not serious about the relationship or has not yet figured out what he wants from them. This is not the best launching pad for a healthy union.

8. How do you imagine a perfect day?

This is about the same as the question about hobbies, only it also reveals a person's lifestyle.

Listen to how your date partner sees his ideal day — active or calm, full of events or relaxed , and think about whether you want to become a part of such a life.

9. What is your relationship with your parents?

This question actually hides another one: "What kind of love have you seen?" We all know that the family model is laid in childhood, and the relationship between mom and dad can largely determine our personal life.

Warm family relationships always make a person more stable emotionally and mentally, as well as self-confident. But if you find out that everything is not so rosy, this is not a reason to immediately run away and cut off communication — after all, situations are different. Nevertheless, such a simple question can be the key to understanding your future relationship.

10. Do you still talk to your childhood friends?

The answer to this question will give you an idea of a person's ability to stay in a relationship for a long time. How long has he been communicating with close people who now surround him? Does he keep in touch with old friends? If the communication was interrupted, then why did it happen and what can he say about his already former friends?

To create a healthy union, each of the partners should have their own interesting and eventful life. Otherwise, one person will dissolve into the other , and such relationships usually end badly.

Comments
reload, if the code cannot be seen