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Trickben.com » Inspiration » 3 Questions to Ask Yourself After a Failure

3 Questions to Ask Yourself After a Failure

20 Jan 2024, 00:00, parser
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Stacy Abrams
The first African-American woman in U.S. history to be nominated for governor of a state. In November 2018, she lost the election campaign. Told about her experience at the TED conference.

My story

At the age of 17, I graduated from school with the best scores among all the students and was very proud of myself. I came from a poor family, we moved from Mississippi to Georgia because my parents wanted to get a religious education. So, one of the advantages of the best graduates in this state is the opportunity to personally meet with the governor. I was a little curious to meet him, but I wanted to see his luxurious house more.

On the morning of the appointed day, my parents and I packed up and took the bus. We didn't have a car, although in the south it is considered a necessity, because public transport is bad here. In general, we drove to the governor's house and approached the gate, at which there was a guard. He looked at us and refused to let us through. "You don't belong here, this is a private event," he said.

My father tried to explain that we were invited, but the guard didn't even look at the guest list. He looked at the bus we got off, realized that we were too poor to have a car. I don't know what else the man thought, but he refused again. After much argument, his parents forced him to check the guest list. After seeing our names there, the guard finally let us in.

I don't remember meeting the governor anymore, I don't remember meeting other graduates. But I clearly remember how the man standing in front of the most influential house in the state decided at a glance that I didn't belong there. Therefore, about 20 years later, I decided to become the one who would open the gates to everyone.

Well, you know the end of the story. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Now I needed to figure out why everything went wrong and what to do next.

Questions worth asking yourself

I realized that one attempt is not enough. Therefore, I began to ask myself, what should I do now? How to overcome bitterness, sadness and apathy? How do I stop watching TV while eating ice cream? What should I do next? And I decided to do what I've always done.

I will move forward because it is impossible to return, and standing still is not enough.

I started this race for governor by thinking about who I am and what I want to be. Before any case, I ask myself three questions. They are also good to ask yourself after a failure.

1. What do I want?

In this case, I know what I want. I want a change. Now I need to ask myself something else: am I being honest with myself about my own ambitions? After a failure, it's easy to think that you've set yourself an unattainable goal. But I can definitely say: be more determined. Don't let failure stop you.

2. Why do I want this?

When you understand what you want, decide on your motives. It should be something that occupies all your thoughts before going to bed. Or something that helps you get up in the morning and charges you with motivation. Or something that makes you angry and you feel the need to change it. But you definitely need to know why you are doing this and why it should be done.

You've probably heard what motivates other people in similar circumstances, but you need to identify your own reason. It's pointless to move from an idea to its execution if you don't know why you're taking it on. When it gets difficult, when your friends turn away from you, when those who supported you forget you, when you fail the first attempt, you will not be able to try again without understanding why you started at all.

3. How do I achieve this?

Three factors always hold us back. First, finances. How often dreams depend on the amount of resources! But there are many stories about how people have overcome financial difficulties.

Finances do not allow us to dream. I can't promise that you will overcome financial difficulties, but you will definitely regret it if you don't try.

Secondly, fear. He's real. It's paralyzing. But it can also give strength. After all, when you know what you are afraid of, you can find a way to get around this fear.

And thirdly— fatigue. Sometimes you just don't have the strength to start all over again. Such moments allow you to assess how much you really want to achieve your goal. Remember why you started. And achieve what you want by moving forward day by day.

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