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When a person gets a chance, it is necessary to make a choice: change their life or leave everything the same. Changing jobs, getting to know each other, or moving — you never know what fate would have ordered if you had followed a different path. But is there a single right solution?
Clinical psychologist and PhD Mira Branco from Duke University in the USA believes that there is no such solution. But you are able to assess in advance whether the opportunity will benefit or harm. During an appearance on the popular radio program The Lisa Valentine Clark Show, the doctor told about five rules that will help not to pass by really fateful chances.
Branca compares the ideal proposal with the work of abstract artists: everyone will see something of their own in their paintings. It's the same with opportunities. For example, when talking about an ideal job, different people will talk about different conditions and responsibilities.
Think about what you mean by "the right decision" and define its clear criteria.
Let's say you're looking for a job. Ask yourself what you expect from her. Suppose your ideal option is a tea picker on the plantations of a tropical island. Brancu believes that if a new chance meets the specified criteria by at least 60%, it is worth considering. And if you are called to monitor the coffee harvest, it is better to agree, rather than wait for full compliance with the ideals.
Each new decision changes the usual way of life. And even if it's a change for the better, the new order of things can cause discomfort. For example, if you were offered a dream promotion, keep in mind that the new position will probably require more immersion in work and you will have less time for your family. In order to avoid disappointment and not overstep the boundaries, when making career decisions, Branco advises setting priorities using four points:
Set boundaries for each of the points that you are not ready to cross, so it will be easier to make a decision. For example, you are not ready to spend more than 15 minutes on the way to work, expect a salary of at least 50,000 rubles, want to do something creative and not stay in the office late. Having identified your items on this list, you will stop wasting time on job offers that do not suit you and cross your border of freedom.
If you just sit and wait for the perfect partner or the job of your dreams, you will most likely be disappointed. Instead, try to take the steps forward yourself. If you dream of becoming a writer, be the first to send letters to publishers. If you want to meet a couple, make acquaintances, and do not wait until you are invited on a date by an image woven from fantasies.
Brancu believes that the body gives us signals if we do something wrong. For example, if you often experience drowsiness, weakness, and fatigue, the reason may not be due to a busy schedule. You probably just don't like what you're doing.
At the same time, if work or relationships bring pleasure, then the body feels better. As an example, the psychologist says that before launching each new project, he feels a pleasant impatience, like a child waiting for a trip to the zoo.
Before you rush headlong into what seems to be a life's work, take more time to study it and start small. If you dream of winning the world Confectionery championship, you should not immediately take on huge cakes in human growth. Figure out the technology, bake some cupcakes and move towards the big goal in small steps. High expectations at the beginning of the journey will quickly lead to disappointment.
