In this photo I am 52 years old. I say this not in order to get more comments on the topic "what a good fellow I am", but because there are no such words — "I'm already over...", "it's too late to drink borjomi" or "everything is lost". The main thing is to want and ... get high from life.
Last time I stopped at how I kicked out all the advisers and vowed to find a way out of the situation. At that time there was no Internet (at least for me), and it was difficult to find an article on "how to hack life". So, in my search, I relied on intuition.
The first thing I did was look at myself from the outside. It was a terrible sight. In an apartment littered with endless souvenirs, plastered on walls and shelves; cluttered with furniture; stuffed with papers, books and things (for the future — suddenly needed), a clumsy, heavy man was sitting. When this man walked into the kitchen, cramped with cupboards with dishes and unnecessary utensils, and opened the refrigerator stuffed with food, his hands trembled from weakness and chronic hunger. The general condition could be described as follows: panic and depression. I didn't understand what was happening to me, I couldn't control my life. Everything around me was calling somewhere, tearing apart: posters on the walls — for a vacation, which I could not go to because of my employment; souvenirs, paintings and long—standing gifts placed in the corners — at a time when it was impossible to return; the refrigerator - for eating and for subsequent rest. And the voices from the phone insisted that I crawl off the couch, crawl to the table and get to work.
So here's what I did to avoid being torn apart. I disconnected the phone. Then I set about destroying everything that called me to something, everything that I was once associated with. I took out souvenirs and mementos, unnecessary books and magazines, all things from the category of "suddenly needed" (including a bunch of unnecessary clothes); threw out half of the furniture from the house; cleaned the kitchen not only from junk, but also from food and even from dishes, leaving only the most necessary things in the calculation for one person.
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IT WAS THE CRAZIEST ACTION IN MY LIFE.
A few days later I found myself in a clean, empty apartment with pristine white walls, outside the windows of which the February snow was just as pristine. In the study there is a desk and a work chair; in the bedroom there is a bed and a linen closet. In the empty kitchen, the white interior of the refrigerator opened in front of me, where only those products that were SIMPLE and UNDERSTANDABLE for awareness lay: milk, eggs, butter, meat, oranges. There is bread and wine in the white kitchen cabinet.
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And a miracle happened. The boundaries that bound me have been erased and the ties that bind me have been broken. Before, when I went outside, a mysterious magnet pulled me back into my "hole". Now my empty house let me go, and I just wandered through the snow-covered streets (still in leather shoes for lack of athletic shoes). There was no talk about sports yet. But the important thing was that suddenly I became completely free!
And at home I was waiting for a flat surface of the desk, on which lay only the necessary. Evoking in my mind a clean desktop and a white sheet of paper on its surface, I gradually began to understand what is the most important document in my life I need to compose.
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I decided to develop and sign A CONTRACT WITH MYSELF ON FAVORABLE TERMS.
That's what I got.
I turn on the phone, but from today I take only what is CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE to me. Let them fire me, but I resolutely refuse to do what infuriates me internally. I don't want to live in a rage.
Since I have to (like many here) work "24 hours a day," I assign myself a REWARD as a way out. And not for two hours once a day, but like this: I did something sensible, got up and left. At least for five minutes, it doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter if I work at home or in the office. There are no such ferocious laws in any office now that a person cannot go outside. And not for a smoke break, but on the street!
From now on, I don't smoke anywhere, especially at my desk. The smoking area of the house is a balcony. It's a very uncomfortable place in winter; and this is a plus: you won't stay there for long. A cigarette will also be a reward: for working, and then walking down the street. It is in this sequence: work — street — cigarette. As a result, the pack per day decreased to five cigarettes: returning from the street, I rushed to the desktop, forgetting about smoking.
In no case am I starving myself, but I share a clear boundary between the words to eat and to eat. I only eat food that I understand. That is, I replace a huge cheburek with something unknown and unknown from where with something simple, natural, pure, close to nature. But I replace the tuna salad with crabs, potatoes, mayonnaise, pineapples, apples, egg, chicken meat and green peas, which is close to nature, with something from this list - eclecticism is difficult to perceive. I will make a reservation right away: we are not talking about poor food, but about making the food on the plate easy to perceive.
From now on, it's not food, it's medicine. The medicine helps if it is dosed in a certain way. And indeed: beer cleanses the body, cognac dilates blood vessels, wine relieves stress. But only in reasonable, conscious doses.
I put in front of me in a prominent place a photo of myself in five years, which I look at and which I look up to. It could be Brad Pitt or a man I admire; but from now on, according to the contract, it's Me IN FIVE YEARS. You can laugh, but the body somehow incomprehensibly reads the matrix from my ideal, applying it to itself.
(I made this point when I was no longer living alone.)
I promise not to involve my wife (and a year later my son) in my exciting game, but I will show by personal example that the way I live is useful and interesting to live. Do not pull in because our biorhythms may not match. We agreed from the very beginning: she goes out when it's convenient for her; I go out when it's convenient for me. If our walks coincide, it is a great happiness. But in no case do not stand at the door and do not whine: "Can you go? Look how great it is there!" The same goes for a joint meal — this is the most piquant point in family relations: "How?!! Won't you eat my pie?!! You don't love me and you never have!" From the very beginning, we decided: no action "for the company". Together only if our desires coincide.
Six months later, among the same as me, pot-bellied, I became known as a "non-vegetarian" person, because I did not drink, smoke or visit bars "for company". At the same time, I began to work very productively, and there was enough energy on the street to run a couple of meters. That's when I met the very athletes who shouted: "Man, if you want to run, buy sneakers!"
And I went to get my sneakers.
The moral of this story is simple: everything that surrounds us is also inside us, in our soul. The chaos around us creates chaos inside our body. Our body cannot function properly in chaos.
