They will support you in a situation when the unknown deprives you of confidence and it is scary to take the first steps. And it's not just about skydiving or kayaking on a mountain river. Fear can inspire any new business that you have never done. For example, it is difficult for one to come to a dance studio for the first time. And the other is to declare that she has become an illustrator and accepts orders for stickers for messengers.
Many of us were convinced: it's always easier together. This is so, because in a difficult moment you can directly say "I'm scared" and get the support of friends. And calm down, because two or three is easier to find a solution in a situation that alone can drive into a stupor.
It can be argued that it is worth turning to other close people for support — a partner or relatives. That's right. But there is another important point in friendship: you are not the only one who can rely on a friend. It is possible that she also needs support. And you, trying to help, can discover in yourself such forces and resources that you did not even know about.
This point is about those beginnings that seem simple. You just need to devote time and effort to them every day — and here it is, a new important habit. But after some time, difficulties arise. There is a desire to postpone a new case for tomorrow, Monday, next month.
Together with a friend, it's easier to start running in the morning or doing yoga, learning foreign words or mastering guitar chords.
Therefore, if you do not manage to get a useful habit in any way, it is worth finding a like-minded person with whom you will start changes together.
There is an important detail here. At first, a sense of responsibility helps some not to break down. They think like this: if you promised a friend to come for a morning run, then it would be awkward to refuse. This technique works, but only for a short time. It is impossible to hold on to a sense of duty all the time.
If a new habit does not begin to please in any way, it is worth sharing feelings with a friend. And discuss which moments you like, and which ones make you look for excuses to skip a workout or lesson. Perhaps together you will find a way out. Or decide to do something else.
It is important for each of us that there are people nearby, in front of whom you do not always need to keep your posture and seem flawless. If it's difficult, it's not scary to look weak in their presence.
You can suddenly burst into tears , smear makeup and sniff with a red nose, wiping it with paper handkerchiefs. And don't worry that those around you will begin to critically evaluate your appearance and behavior. Or to condemn for the lack of the ability to always smile.
It's great if such support can be provided by family or other close people. But a friend will easily put herself in your place — literally "fit into your shoes." And the beloved man, most likely, will have to explain things for a long time that a woman will understand half a word.
This situation is not accidental. Scientists have found out UCLA Researchers Identify Key Biobehavioral Pattern Used By Women To Manage Stress / Sciense Daily that stress in women increases not only the production of hormones that make you run or get into a fight to escape. This happens in men, and this mechanism helps humanity to survive and develop.
In women, the production of oxytocin increases, a hormone that, according to scientists, encourages "caring and friendship."
Once upon a time, such behavior was necessary in order to save the kids of the tribe together during a flood or a forest fire. Today, such a reaction to stress allows us to feel better in a circle of like-minded women.
Australian scientists from the University of Queensland have been studying for 20 years Social relationship satisfaction and accumulation of chronic conditions and multimorbidity: a national cohort of Australian women. Xiaolin Xu, Gita D Mishra, Julianne Holt‑Lunstad, Mark Jones / BMJ Journals how social interactions affect women's health. They were interested in different age groups, starting from 18-23 years. At the start of the study, more than half of the young women had no chronic diseases.
Several times during the experiment, the scientists asked the participants to assess how happy they were with their relationships with others. Romantic relationships, interaction with relatives and colleagues were evaluated separately. An important category was friendship.
After 20 years, those who were satisfied with social relations had twice as many chronic diseases as those who felt lonely. There were similar results in each separate category, including in the "friendship" section.
Women who were completely satisfied with relationships with friends accumulated half as many chronic diagnoses as those with the lowest satisfaction level. Scientists have concluded that this aspect affects health in the same way as smoking, low physical activity and alcohol.
Interestingly, this is a universal biological mechanism. It helps Female monkeys with female friends live longer / UCLA College feel good and live longer not only for people, but also, for example, monkeys.
If you strive to maintain relationships with interesting, intelligent, understanding people, then you want to become the same. After all, the main friend for a girl is herself. Therefore, it is worth asking yourself the question: would I like to be friends with the lady I see in the mirror every day? And if for some reason such friendship does not inspire you , try to understand what you would like to change.
Community building expert Rada Agrawal in her book "Together " writes about how to find people with whom you are on the same wavelength. She suggests taking a piece of paper and writing down what qualities you see in yourself today. And add another list — how your friends see you. The ones you really trust. Maybe their observations will help you look at yourself from a side that you haven't even thought about.
You need to be extremely honest about what you are. Do you like to wash the bones of others? Can't you listen? Instantly lose your temper? Are you lazy, selfish, and bossy? If so, that's fine! Nobody's perfect. For example, I didn't realize what a terrible reinsurer I was until I was awarded the title "the one who always sets three alarm clocks" at the annual party.
This approach will help you see which features in yourself are worth appreciating, and which ones it makes sense to change.
Another step is to add a list of those qualities that you would like to develop and strengthen. Not only to attract those with whom it will be pleasant to communicate, but also to become a best friend for yourself.