A kind word and a cat is nice, and everyone seems to know that. But do all of us get good praise? Are we able to invest confidence without embarrassment and encourage further success and development?
Personally, I do not always cope in the best way, and therefore I found these tips useful.
Certainty. Many people talk about this, in return «What a wonderful picture!» it's better to say: «Look at what wonderful colors you used! You really gave the picture the character and mood of a spring garden!»
Acknowledge the author. Do not praise the very fact of improvement. Instead of the phrase: «How cozy it has become in the living room now», it is better to say: «How well you have arranged everything here, dear». Not forgetting about the details of item 1.
Correlate the praise and the complexity of the work. For a short and relatively easy task, a simple «Well done will do!», but if the task was difficult, it is worth coming up with something more detailed to emphasize the virtues of the praised. Perhaps the praise should be repeated several times.
Remember the influence of negativity. There is a psychological phenomenon, consisting in the fact that people react much more sharply to the negative than to the positive, therefore, to correct any mistake in family relationships, you will have to do at least five good and relationship-strengthening actions. Remember that every critical remark burns a few praises.
Praise and for the routine. It is easier to praise for a noticeable and rather unique action or achievement: it is almost impossible to miss it. But it's easy to forget to praise your spouse for cleanliness in the house, a fresh shirt in the morning or delicious coffee: it happens every day and goes unnoticed. Do not forget to praise for your daily and hard work.
Five tips for giving good praise. [ gretchenrubin ]
