In the modern world success is practically a cult, and it concerns almost all spheres of life. You need to be conventionally beautiful, and rich, and with a good job, and with a mountain of letters.
It seems that such people surround us everywhere: here are beautiful photos from social networks, here are articles from fashion publications, and here is the Forbes rating "30 to 30".
It is very difficult to avoid comparisons, and anxiety gradually penetrates into the head. We begin to doubt ourselves: we have so many shortcomings and so few achievements! Especially compared to successful and rich beauties and beauties.
The more we think about it, the more often we evaluate our life through the prism of someone else's success. It's like changing the lenses in glasses. It becomes unimportant that a Hollywood actor has achieved an ideal press with the help of expensive trainers and, possibly, drugs — only the press itself is interested. And if we don't have the same cubes, what are we good at?When we become convinced of our own shortcomings (which in fact are not), we are disappointed.
We may even get the idea that we don't deserve happiness — this talented and simply gorgeous Monica Bellucci has the right to count on love and attention, but not ordinary mortals. And then the thought "I am not worthy" finally gets stuck in our head.
We refuse to accept our imperfections and decide that we don't deserve anything until we have become the best of all. We begin to believe that we need to work hard on ourselves in order to someday, maybe, get closer to the ideal. And only then will you be able to count on love and understanding.
If you do not accept yourself, but only constantly evaluate and criticize, this will lead to anxiety, anger and eventually to burnout, that is, prolonged emotional exhaustion. At first, the feeling of guilt will regularly go off scale and drive forward for an unattainable ideal, and then the treadmill of self-improvement will stop, because human forces are not infinite. After a forced pause, shame comes — and the circle repeats, and the nerves are loosened.
To break out of a closed cycle, it is worth fighting not with an external cause — the success of others, which seems very desirable, but with an internal one. With a nasty critic who sits deep inside us and whispers harmful thoughts.
Every morning he compares our achievements and the successes of Donald Trump, the son of a millionaire. At lunch, the critic shares stories about the deepest love of some two stars. A bedtime story — analysis of edited photos of top models on Instagram.
You can't beat this critic by playing his game.
Most of us were not born into a family of millionaires, and we do not have time or assistants to retouch pictures every day. So it's better not to fight in a fruitless battle for success, but go into a counterattack. Defeat criticism, show that it's time to abandon double standards: you deserve exactly the same things as Monica Bellucci.
To do this, proceed as follows: