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Trickben.com » Life » What harms modest boasting and how to talk about achievements without falsehood

What harms modest boasting and how to talk about achievements without falsehood

18 Jan 2024, 00:00, parser
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What is humble bragging

This is an attempt to 1. Humblebrag / LEXICO
2. O. Sezer, F. Gino, M. I. Norton. Humblebragging: A distinct—and ineffective — self‑presentation strategy / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
disguise bragging behind self-criticism or complaints. The true purpose of such behavior is to draw attention to one's own achievements.

Such statements usually sound like this:

  • "I've lost so much weight that my clothes no longer fit me. It's terribly annoying!"
  • "I hate hearing my voice on TV!"
  • "It's true: the more money, the more problems!"
  • "What disadvantages do I have? Oh, I'm too hardworking..."
  • "It's so hard to choose between Gucci and Prada!"
  • "I have no idea why I was made employee of the month."

Modest bragging occurs O. Sezer, F. Gino, M. I. Norton. Humblebragging: A distinct—and ineffective — self‑presentation strategy / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology everywhere: from everyday life and social media to statements J. Ling. The top five humblebrags from Justin Trudeau’s United Nations speech / VICE political leaders.

The term itself (in English — humblebragging) was coined by C. Newton. Harris Wittels, Parks and Rec writer who coined ‘humblebrag,’ dies at 30 / The Verge comedy writer, screenwriter and producer of the series "Parks and Recreation" Harris Wittels. In 2010, he created an account of the same name on the social network X (then Twitter), in which he collected posts with modest bragging rights.

Why do people modestly brag

They want to sit O. Sezer, F. Gino, M. I. Norton. Humblebragging: A distinct—and ineffective — self‑presentation strategy / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology on two chairs. On the one hand, to tell about your successes. On the other hand, they seem restrained and polite.

Few people like braggarts, but modesty is treated, if not with respect, then certainly without irritation. Therefore, people can count O. Sezer, F. Gino, M. I. Norton. Humblebragging: A distinct—and ineffective — self‑presentation strategy / Harvard Business School Working Paper that modest bragging is the best way to avoid criticism and envy.

Why modest bragging doesn't work

People see insincerity. False modesty and veiled braggadocio are much more annoying than overt boasting.

This is even confirmed by scientific research. So, scientists from the University of North Carolina and Harvard Business School conducted O. Sezer, F. Gino, M. I. Norton. Humblebragging: A distinct—and ineffective — self‑presentation strategy / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology several experiments to evaluate the prevalence and effectiveness of modest bragging. In one experiment, students were approached by a man who allegedly collected signatures for a petition. He mentioned in passing that he was going to Paris for a paid internship. Sometimes the fake collector just bragged, and sometimes complained that he couldn't choose where to go anyway. In the second case, 20% fewer people signed the petition.

In another experiment, participants were shown various statements from social networks. For example: "When will the maids put things in order so that I can exercise? #Waste of time." Or, "I have two maids." People were asked to describe their emotions and evaluate the honesty and competence of the authors of the posts. As a result, most found the humble braggarts less knowledgeable and attractive than the more straightforward speakers.

How to brag without false modesty

In order not to fall into such a trap, do not forget about the following.

Be honest

It's okay to talk about your successes D. Frye. Why It’s OK to Share Your Success / Psychology Today and even useful A. R. Roberts, E. E. Levine, O. Sezer. Hiding success / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . If you are proud of a promotion or a beautiful house, say so. Just try not to hide your feelings behind fake phrases, so as not to pass for a cunning or deceiver.

You can do L. K. John. Savvy Self‑Promotion / Harvard Business Review focus on facts, not emotions. For example, tell us how much and hard you worked for a promotion. Or how much effort you spent to build a big house.

Don't forget those who helped you

This is the best way to avoid criticism and at the same time thank relatives or colleagues. Try to celebrate other people's contributions to your achievements. Let's say it would be more difficult to increase the company's sales without the help of other employees, and it would be almost impossible to build a house without family support.

Respect others

Try to be not only honest, but also tactful — it is important to remember the feelings of others. The same events can cause I. Scopelliti, G. Loewenstein, J. Vosgerau. You Call It “Self‑Exuberance”; I Call It “Bragging”: Miscalibrated Predictions of Emotional Responses to Self‑Promotion / Psychological Science different emotions in different people. The news of the promotion could well hurt a colleague who dreamed of this position. In such a situation, it is better to restrain yourself and share your successes another time.

Remember the relevance

It is worth talking about achievements when is ready for it L. K. John. Savvy Self‑Promotion / Harvard Business Review the situation. For example, if you were asked how your work or studies are going. Or when other interlocutors discuss recent purchases or some professional achievements.

It's definitely not worth artificially shifting the conversation to the topic of your promotion or a new spacious house. People will easily notice that you have started asking leading questions or casually remembering some things.

How to find the golden mean 😌💭🤩
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