There are a lot of threats on the Internet for children — from bright banners leading to phishing sites to strangers who can do harm. To avoid trouble, teach children digital literacy even before they have a personal smartphone. Choosing a cartoon or a bedtime story, explain what the Internet is, how you can use it, and how not to. Treat it like teaching other security basics. For example, crossing the road or using household appliances.

Here are the rules that a child should learn before independent Internet surfing:

Do not share personal information. Phone number, home address, information about school, parents' place of work, their schedule, bank card data cannot be transferred to other people. Adult family members also need to follow this rule. Do not disclose the details of the child's schedule and do not publish his photos — especially with geolocation.
Do not communicate with strangers. It's not as easy on the Internet as it is offline. Nevertheless, it is worth warning the child that an adult may be hiding under the avatar of a boy or girl. If a new acquaintance is too intrusive, tries to find out personal information, asks to send a photo, you need to stop talking to him.
Pay attention to the website address. Sometimes scammers create pages that are very similar to the real ones. Fake sites will differ by only one or two letters.
Do not download files from unfamiliar sites and do not click on suspicious links. Even if it was sent by a friend, it could have been hacked.

2. Suggest installing the parental control app

With their help, you can restrict access to specific sites, prohibit the installation of new applications and monitor browser history. Gently and calmly explain to the child: you are not doing this to infringe on his rights, but for safety. It is enough for a younger student to show how the program works. A teenager can be asked to install the application himself and together choose the functions that you will use.

In technology, children are often better savvy than their parents. Many people understand how to circumvent the restrictions by creating a fake account or using hacking software. Therefore, if a child is against a "spy app" on his smartphone, there is no need to insist and inflate the conflict. Otherwise, there is a risk of creating a situation in which they will start lying to you. Come back to the conversation later and try to find arguments why parental control programs are useful to the child himself. For example, they can protect against the installation of third-party applications that contain viruses and disable phones.

3. Get involved in the digital world of children

Ask what your child plays on the Internet, what sites and social networks he likes. Do not immediately criticize the content of interest , even if you think it is stupid. Offer to watch videos together, discuss them and show what you think will interest you, but will be more useful for development. The active participation of parents helps Co-Viewing / ScienceDirect emotional involvement, and the child understands that his interests are important. And you can also contribute Co-Viewing / ScienceDirect the fact that children will begin to perceive media as a source of useful information, and not just entertainment.

If your child is registered in some social network, create an account there and figure out how it works. Ask if you can subscribe to it. Ask for advice. For example, find out which of your photos turned out to be more successful and whether it is worth posting it in the feed. Put likes and write comments, but try not to criticize the content of the page. Discuss with your child what behavior is acceptable in social networks: for example, that people on the Internet should not be insulted — just like in person How to Talk to Your Kids About Social Media / WebMD .

4. Do not scold if the child is looking for something unacceptable

Make sure that a special mode is installed in the browser that hides adult content. If you notice that the child is trying to find something by himself, do not make a scandal. Queries like " where do children come from" or "what is sex" may hide a natural interest. For example, at 10-12 years old, many children try Sexual Behaviors in Children: Evaluation and Management / American Academy of Family Physicians look at photos of naked people. Gently lead him to an important conversation, find out what he already knows, and try to fill in the blanks. Tell the truth, but soften the information based on age.

5. Make it clear that problems can be discussed with you

Warn children that they may encounter aggression on the Internet. For example, sometimes detractors write offensive comments or intimidate — this is cyberbullying. If your child is aware of How to talk to your children about bullying / UNICEF that such a phenomenon exists, it is easier for him to recognize it. Raise the topic regularly: the more you discuss bullying with children, the calmer they will tell How to talk to your children about bullying / UNICEF thank you for encountering it. Be interested not only in school successes, but also in how the child spends time on the Internet, what feelings he has caused certain events.

6. Do not treat the child's phone as your own

Taking away a gadget as a punishment is not the best idea, even if children spend a lot of time on the Internet or are looking for something forbidden. Clinical psychologist Beth Peters believes When Should You Come Between a Teenager and Their Phone? / Child Mind Institute that such measures only alienate family members. "For teenagers, social networks and communication with friends are a fundamental task and a focus area. When you break the connection with friends, it causes a strong emotional reaction, a breakdown in the relationship between parents and children," says the specialist.

Reading personal records or messages is also not worth it. This violates No Mom, You Can’t Read Your Daughter’s Diary (or Texts) / Psychology Today the child's right to privacy and undermines his trust in you. Excessive parental control can cause No Mom, You Can’t Read Your Daughter’s Diary (or Texts) / Psychology Today lies and secretive behavior. Therefore, it is important to build trusting relationships so that children themselves tell what they care about. If you still doubt that the child is telling you the truth, or there are serious concerns for his life and health, you can add "stop words" to the parental control application, after the introduction of which the program will take screenshots.