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Self-confidence can be compared to an icy iceberg that floats in the ocean. We often think that we need to climb to the top of this hulk and plant a victory flag there with the inscription "I did everything just perfectly." We are really sure that the iceberg has a peak, and we are consciously striving for it.
Here lies the biggest mistake: the iceberg of our innate idealism has no top, unlike the iceberg in the ocean. We are just ordinary people and rarely do something without a single blemish.
However, we have a tendency to suggest to ourselves that we need to strive for an abstract ideal. When we do not achieve it, it often leads to despair and frustration, from which depression is not far away. This is how internal barriers arise.
Internal barriers are taboos that we set for ourselves voluntarily, while sometimes not even realizing that they are the main obstacles to success.
To get rid of them and uproot the subconscious belief in false ideals, a few useful habits will help.
The first alarm signal indicating that you have some internal barriers may be your speech. Watch her. With a high probability, you very often repeat phrases such as "It's impossible" or "I won't succeed." When you feel fear or uncertainty about some issue, they slip through very often and indicate that there are things that hinder and restrain you. Try to pay attention to it yourself or find someone who would inform you about annoying reservations.
Do you feel that you are fixated on some part of your own life? Or maybe there is something in your past that does not allow you to live in peace? Or are you reacting to something too emotionally?
A little reflection won't hurt anyone. You need to go deeper into yourself, find things that bother you and that you would like to change, and understand why you can't move on. This is a very good way to determine the starting point that served as the beginning for the emergence of internal barriers.
Shatte identified three main areas that most often serve as the primary sources of all internal prohibitions:
Your internal barriers may have formed in early childhood. Enough time has passed for them to become firmly entrenched in your consciousness, and now they are difficult to eradicate. As soon as you find such barriers, try to cope with them. Stop doubting, even though it sounds like something out of the category of fiction right now. Give yourself a break from the constant uncertainty, stop driving yourself into a corner.
If you can't do it in any way, imagine yourself as a hero of some movie who needs to overcome a difficult obstacle. As soon as you muffle your inner voice a little, which squeaks disgustingly that you will not succeed, ask yourself: "What would I do in his place?" And there will definitely be an answer!
Let's say you have set for yourself a goal that you want to achieve at all costs. Once you have planned out all the steps to get to it, set another overambitious goal over it.
Psychologist and PhD from New Jersey Patricia Farrell is convinced that such a trick will help you move in the right direction much faster. It is designed to take you out of your comfort zone. You will not be able to achieve what you want right away, but you will work hard to get closer to the result. The more you work, the more you will begin to feel confident in yourself and in what you are doing. This will help you forget about self-restrictions.
We have very common ideas about how the world should ideally be. And the more concrete they become, the easier it is to live and control yourself and the world around you.
All these internal barriers make you zombies. It's like you're in autopilot mode, letting them manipulate you. When you begin to realize this and eliminate the framework, you are internally liberated.
